Fish Boredom

Most know I have several animals. Leaving town for even a short period of time creates a cascade of phone calls, backup care givers and instructions.

Yesterday I was finally able to pick up my fish from the friend who was watching them for me. The following reprimand was given:

Me: Thanks so much for taking care of the fish! I know they are quiet, but I hope they weren't too much trouble.

Friend: Umm, they ate ok and everything, but I really think you should do something about the boredom.

Me: Excuse me?

Friend: Yeah, they get really bored in there and they don't have any activities planned or anything else to occupy them.

Me: (slightly miffed) Well at home they have a larger aquarium with a castle. The beta, well, he mostly just does his own thing.

Friend: Are you kidding me? THESE FISH ARE BORED OUT OF THEIR MIND!

Me: No. No, I really don't think so. Do you know the memory span of a goldfish?

Friend: Of course I do! Don't you think I was Googling while you were away? These aren't goldfish though. These are smart, talented fish; it's not like they are carp or something!

Me: (gathering fish items) Ok, well thanks for watching them. You know I appreciate your help.

Friend: (sarcasm) And the boredom? What are you doing to fix that?

Me: (as I'm walking out the door) I'll consider finding them jobs.

Friend: (shouting after me) They are highly train-able you know! Teach them tricks or something.

(thinking to myself) Yeah, I'll get right on that. You know, because I don't have anything else to do or anything.

***Check out the new look at Aisle Files and tell me what you think. I adore it, but of course, I'm biased.

Because It Was Requested

Or because I'm late to the game, take your pick.

Behold, the inside of my fridge:

• Of utmost importance, sugar free Hazelnut creamer
• Massage Lotions and essential oils
• Four (no, not a typo) of baking soda
• box of Chinese leftovers
• Raw chocolate bar
• 8 month old pita wraps
• Fish Oil (for the furkids)
• Probiotics (for the furkids)
• Missing Link (for the furkids)
• Bottle of Propel peach water
• assorted chicken broths

Impressive, I know. What's in your fridge?

Take It Away Tuesday (on Wednesday)

I've been sad about loosing my dogs and it's made it hard to write. I can not tell you how much I appreciate the support of my readers and friends right now. So many have asked if there is anything they can do, financially or otherwise, I have set up a PayPal donation site (top left) that will (hopefully) fund the release from their quarantine. I have such gratitude for those that have already donated. The furkids and I both are grateful beyond measure.

Since I am behind, lets do a Take It Away Tuesday on Wednesday. Sounds good right? As always, each book is linked to Amazon for further detail.

Because it seems appropriate, for the pet lovers out there, a copy of Chicken Soup for the Pet Lovers Soul signed by all four authors.

Waiter Rant by the Waiter (anyone who has ever waited tables will LOVE this book) Congrats to Angela!

Love the One You're With by Emily Giffin

Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella

The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella

***new stuff at Make A Move and (possibly) Aisle Files (if I get to it)

BlogHer Recap

BlogHer recap will be coming soon. For now, check out what new at:

The Aisle Files

or

Make a Move

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Holy Schwag Batman

It is 10:30am and so far I have so much schwag, I got too winded and had to come upstairs to lie down for a bit. What you see in front of you (which if you click the picture, I believe it will enlarge) is

• several coloring books
• Mary Kay eye shadow kits
• fruit juices from Aquafina
• 3 thumb drives
  
• first aid kits
• dry erase picture frame
• EOS mint lip balm
• Palmers cocoa butter lip balm (do these people know me or what?)
• EOS full size shave cream
• cut and scoop spoon/knives thus reinventing the spork
• labels with label maker program
• socks from Hanes in the Hanes T shirt bag
• business card holder
• luggage tags
• retractable phone cord extender
• mouse pad
• numerous note pads
• entry to win a full set of Michelin tires (hmmm, do I sense snow tires in my future?)
• granola bars, propel water additives
• baby food
• applesauce in squirt containers
• handfuls of Starburst
• laundry soap from both Tide and All (really I don't spill that much)
• hand sanitizer
• endless coupons and promotions

most of this is being taken to the Zwaggle recycle room and C, the rest is coming to you, so expect a large box.

On another note, some of you have asked about donating. I'm touched by your kindness. The best way is to PayPal me at the link in my sidebar. Any donations, of any amount, will be accepted with extreme gratitude.

Friday Funnies or Not So Funny

I have nothing new to report on the fur kids other than thank you for all your support. Would anyone think it rude to set up a donation fund to get them back? Would anyone be willing to contribute? Had I not purchased the BlogHer tickets back in November, I wouldn't be traveling and obviously would have used the money to get them out of quarantine.

Since I have nothing else, I direct you to The Aisle Files for a funny picture.

Also? BlogHer09 rocks. If it can make me smile through this crap, it's worth the weight in vodka gold.

A Plea For Help

First, I want to say thank you for the outpouring of love and support. I need strong energy to lean into right now.

As many of you know, both of my dogs were taken from me yesterday due to an altercation with the neighbor whose dog attacked me earlier in the week.

I spent 5 hours in the ER having my injuries treated.

When animal control came to retrieve her dog yesterday morning, she claimed it had "just then" run away. She then said that actually she was the one injured and produced a small scratch on her arm. She also said she didn't know which of my dogs it came from, so animal control was forced to take both of them to the pound for quarantine.

I won't have my dogs back until August.

It will cost me $400 in boarding fees to get them back.

I don't know what view each of you has, but I need a favor. Please, please put out good energy/pray/meditate for their health, good care, proper feeding and water, safety and happiness.

Their names are Spencer and Morgan, and here are pictures if that helps to have a face to meditate with.



I have decided to continue on to BlogHer, but please understand if I am not my usual sparkly self.

Dust Me Off And I'm Still Headed to BlogHer09

****Latest update, animal control just toook my dogs away from me because all dogs involved in the incident have to be quariented. I may not go to BlogHer. (Bex-we'll work something out) I am so scared and shaking, I just feel sick.


I've been looking forward to BlogHer for a long time. I bought my tickets back in November in fact. Super SQUEEEE!

I can't wait to see Bex, Jenn, Jessica, Katelin, Jamie, Sizzle, Jes, Jenny, Carmen, The Modern Gal, and Velma.

I had everything all planned out. The trip was going to be perfect.

Know what happens when you think something will be perfect?

That's right. The universe laughs. In your face. Loudly.

In the past two days I was attacked by a dog that landed me in the ER for a good 5 hours. I have a bright red cut/scratch around my neck as if the BTK murderer was after me. Also numerous bloody bites on my arms and legs that "have to be left open to the air so they don't get infected." (Bite me)


Also, my 30 day heart monitor was placed. I'm overjoyed (heavy on the sarcasm).

Picture if you will, an old old brick Motorola cell phone. You know, the kind that was cool back in the 80's. Now envision 3 blackberries stacked on top of each other. Just for fun, we'll tape wires and leads to sticky pads that have metal "attachments" around the collar bones, because that will go well with a strapless cocktail dress right?

Know what else? I don't care about any of this ( ok well maybe a little) because

1)I am going to party like one of the Kennedy's while in Chicago
and
2) I will have great hair.

I even bought a tiara and that will make everything all better, right? Right? RIGHT???

Please leave a comment if you are going and I didn't link you, I don't want to miss seeing my favorite bloggers.

***Update:

Since many are asking, I was walking my dogs (mini schnauzers) and a new neighbor who keeps her dog on the patio almost all day let her dog out the front door. The dog came running toward me, snarling and growling. I immediately grabbed both of my dogs and crouched over them in Mama Bear protection mode and the dog bit me. Repeatedly. The owner showed no sense of urgency even though I was screaming "she's biting me" and "help, help, help" over and over. Several neighbors saw this but were too afraid to get near the dog. She finally drug the dog off me saying "this happens all the time". The dog is now in quarantine (which I feel awful that someones pet was taken from them, even a biting, snarly one) but make no mistake, she will be paying my medical bills. (She doesn't know this yet, but I will make her well aware.)

Take It Away Tuesday

This weeks selections include:

Bad Dogs Have More Fun by John Grogan (who also authored Marley and Me) YAY Shania!

The Anti 9 to 5 Guide by Michelle Goodman YAY Marjorie!

Everyone Else's Girl by Megan Crane YAY Alison!

Stupid and Contagious by Caprice Crane

Forget About It by Caprice Crane

The Queen Gene by Jennifer Coburn YAY Priscilla!

You know what to do, just leave a comment saying you want the book and email me at VanessaRambles (at) gmail (dot) com. All Books are linked to Amazon for more details.

Enjoy!

BlogHer Cab Share

Huge thanks to Velma at A Smeddling Kiss for coming up with this idea. With BlogHer less than a week away, why not start thinking now about sharing cabs to get to the hotel?

Print this .jpg and wave it around at the cab stand and you should have ride share buddies in no time!

You might see someone from last year or meet someone new, adding another familiar face to the conference.

See you there!

***Wickedly funny picture at Aisle Files today. You don't want to miss this one. Trust me.

Across The Country, By The Numbers

The ten players involved:

• Me (expert map folder who was confused at first by the GPS, but now covets the Garmin nuvi. Please? Anyone? Send me one?)
• Bestie (has endless patience and tolerance for unhappy kiddos and magical ability to make everything better)
  
• 6 month old (hates the car seat, loves to be held, only by Mom though)
  
• 3 year old (loves to pick the next DVD)
  
• 5 year old (expert at coloring and placement of stickers)
  
• 1 African Grey (exceptional nibbler, by the end of the trip she had her head out of her carrier. Also, she slept in dresser drawers of each hotel.)
  
  
• 140 pound mastiff (Mastiff: "I'll just be asleep back here if anyone needs me.")
  
• 1 cat (Cat: "Oh you stepped on me? I barely noticed. Now about that litter pan...")
  
• 2 fish (separate containers) (sad demise upon arrival at our final destination)
  

The transportation method:

• Subaru Forrester with UHaul trailer attached
• Gas card with no limit

The adventure:

• 260 miles into the trip, car trouble. CV joint this, metal flew that, safely maneuvered to the shoulder of the road.

• Determine all fluid levels are fine and engine has not seized, nor has the tranny dropped.

• Waited endless hours for AAA tow truck to show up and tow the ten of us, the car and UHaul trailer.

• Turns out we waited so long because there was an 18 car pile up with a semi just a few miles ahead of us.

• Instantly consider the ten of us saved from certain injury, if not death by being "detoured" and avoiding that accident. (Hey, the Universe works in mysterious ways.)

• Extra day spent at hotel while the dealership repaired the car and luckily had all parts in stock. Also needed 4 new tires (AWD cars apparently you can't just change one) because who doesn't love to buy new tires 260 miles into a roadtrip?

• Kids considered this a great surprise because extra hours swimming were involved.

• At 984 miles into the trip decide to take a detour. (Yeah, we're crazy adventurous like that.)

• Somewhere around Casper, WY bestie left her shoes in the parking lot as she closed the door and I drove off.

• Next 700 miles we shared the one pair of shoes I brought with me, black Reef flip flops. How's that for true friendship? You only have one pair of shoes to your name and you share them with your bestie. Really it just depended on who needed to get out of the car. This was only awkward at hotels.

• Arrived in Kansas on Saturday, Fourth of July.

• Met my Biological Father (whom I had only found one week previous after years of searching) on Independence Day, complete with fireworks. The most monumental, magical moment of my life. (I'm allowed to say this since I've never been married or had kids.) (Besides, it really is true; I'll never forget that night. Ever.)

• Spent the next days driving and driving and driving and driving, finally arriving after a total of just under 3000 miles driven.

• Arrival at destination, kids are overjoyed and didn't go to bed for a very long time despite our 10:45pm arrival.

• Next day is spent unloading UHaul and building bunk beds. We were both so bruised by this project, it looked like we had been drug behind the car for several miles.

• Uhaul is returned with incredibly funny but just wrong story. You'll have to check her blog for that one.

• Remainder of days are spent tackling Mt. Laundry, cleaning, sorting, organizing her room.

• Arrive back in Dallas, not with the "It's SO GOOD to be home" but rather "Oh great. Here I am, heavy on the sarcasm as the waves of 105 degree heat washed over me like being held down under a hairdryer. (At this point a move the East Coast is looking favorable, any advice on Connecticut?)

• Enjoyed the 5pm traffic (except it was 4pm) to pick up kidlets from doggie daycare, eat, call everyone to let them know I arrived safely at home and collapse on couch with the suitcase at my feet. (And who put that there anyway?)

• Now I'm getting ready to go to BlogHer in a week. Yes, I'm a travel lover. (One of my ex-es told me I pack more quickly and neatly than anyone he'd ever seen.)

The number of times asked "Are we there yet?" or "Where are we going?"

• 187 (roughly)

The whole trip? PRICELESS!

My favorite picture?


Since I am so far behind on blogs, tell me what I missed? Or, you know, whatever.

Recently I was referred to a cardiologist and the appointment was scheduled for Wednesday of last week (when I was supposed to be in town, but driving cross country took a little longer than expected). The appointment was rescheduled for Wednesday of this week at 9am with instructions to arrive 15 minutes early to fill out paperwork.

Sounds reasonable enough, right?

This is the point where you are indeed wrong and all logic has been tossed out the window.

Allow me to explain:

I took the card given to me by my family practice doctor and plugged the address into my computer (again, the Garmin anyone? Please?) to get an idea of the cross street. I arrived at the address listed on the card at 8:40am, a full 20 minutes ahead of time.

As I enter the office I notice it says "Urology" not "Cardiology" as I was expecting, and quite frankly, a part of my body I have no problems with and don't want inspected for such.

I tell the receptionist I am here for my cardiology appointment with Dr so and so. She looks at me blankly and says, "that office moved four years ago." She gave me the correct address and off I went again in search of the cardiology office.

(Deep breath)

I found the actual office where the cardiology doctors practice only to be told my appointment was scheduled for 9am but moved to 10:30am.

(Silently screaming in my head)

I tell her I called yesterday afternoon to confirm my appointment but the voice mail was the only response I received. "That's because our phones turn off at 4pm" she says cheerily.

I want to point out this receptionist was nothing but sweet and kind, but I was frustrated to the point of wanting to rip someone's head off after:

• Being given the wrong business card and address for an office that moved four years ago.

• Being told my appointment was moved an hour and a half later but they couldn't call me because my out-of-town area code which was still entered incorrectly in the computer system.

• The phones being turned off at 4pm in the afternoon when I call to confirm my appointment. I always call to confirm, but usually wait until the afternoon because most of the doctors offices call in the morning or noontime to confirm the appointment.

• Only being able to go to a certain lab when the blood work is requested by a specialist, but going to a different lab when blood work is requested by a family practice doctor.

Wish me luck on the echocardiogram next week so I don't kill someone from fighting with my health insurance company or otherwise?

Because really? This is bullshit.

/end rant


***new stuff at Aisle Files and Make A Move

Gas Prices Are How Much?

While using the Garmin nuvi GPS, which I highly recommend by the way, on the recent trip across the country, we happened to glance at the fuel cost.

Surely this can't be right....



$8342.78 to drive 805 miles? That would mean gas prices are now roughly $10.36 a gallon. This is the point where I would turn into Forrest Gump and start running across the country rather than driving.

I still LOVE this product and if anyone wanted to gift me one, I certainly wouldn't say no. It is the most helpful piece of technology I have come across when driving in unfamiliar places. In short, I'd use it all the time.

***new post at Aisle Files and this one maybe isn't so appropriate for guys, have a look anyway if you want, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Take It Away Tuesday

You guessed it, I'm giving away more books. When I said I wanted to clear the clutter this year, I meant it.

You know what to do, leave a comment claiming the book, then email me your address (VanessaRambles (at) gmail (dot) com) and it's on the way. All books are linked to Amazon for detailed descriptions.

First up:

The Pig and i by Rachel Toor- An adorable story about a girl who falls in love with a series of pets and pets and equally eclectic men.

What Looks Like Crazy On An Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage- This one was part of Oprah's book club a few years back. It's funny, inspirational and shows the strength of the human spirit. Congrats to Karla!

Secret Society Girl an Ivy League Novel by Diana Peterfreund- The story of what happens when an ordinary girl is inducted to the most powerful secret society and her struggles to keep up with her newly found group. Congrats to Mandy!

the Wonder Bread Cookbook- Full of the most unusual recipes, ideas and combination. Congrats to Bobbi!

The Healing Foods by Hausman & Hurley- Exactly as it says, healing foods. This book is broken down by disease and what's best to eat to promote healing and a possible cure. Congrats to Bobbi!

I also have an unopened copy of Norton Anti-Virus for Mac if anyone would like to have it.

***new post at Aisle Files- Behind Aisle Number Two...

You Put That Where?

Her: "Hey, hey, hey?!?!"

Me: "What's up?"

Her: "My fish died!"

Me: "Hmm, well, I guess he's in God's hands now."

Her: "Nope! I put him in the toilet!"

(insert tear inducing laughter here) (kids are an endless source of material)

***new post at Aisle Files

Come Again?

Recently when asking a friend about an address, I queried 2464?

"Yup" came the answer, followed by "Wait! What did you mean?"

"2464?" I asked again.

"Oh wait, I thought you meant 24-7."

Clearly more coffee was needed at the time.

Where the Heck Is She?

Exhaustion? While you are my faithful friend, you can leave any time.

I have driven cross country with ten precious lives in my hands, unloaded a UHaul, met my biological Father on Independence Day no less and so many other things that my eyes cross.

I have had many requests to share the story of meeting my Father for the first time, but at this point I still need time to process the event. For now, color me thrilled beyond belief.

I am on the East Coast for a few more days then headed back to Dallas only to jet off to Chicago for BlogHer. You are coming, right?

For now, I will share another picture from the trip:

LOVE the mountains. MISS the mountains.

***New post up at Aisle Files

Embrace Adventure

Someone Else with the UHaul

A HUGE thank you to K13 for her guest post.


In honor of Vanessa and her friend et. al. traveling the country accompanied by a Uhaul, I come to you with a guest post about my not so great Uhaul experience.

Prior to living in Tennessee, I once lived in Plano, TX. Yes, that's right. The same city that Vanessa lives in right now. In fact, I even lived in the VERY SAME apartment complex that she resides in. What a small world.

My last stint in TX (yes, I lived there twice) was only one year long, from July 2004 to July 2005. I felt like I had nothing going for me there and decided that I wanted to further my education and well, maybe also live close to my parents once again...there were after all (1) getting divorced and (2) getting old. I had been away for 6 years, it was time.

Since I used to move somewhat often, my dad has earned the title of my "Official Uhaul Driver". Back in 2003, he flew from TN to AZ to drive the Uhaul from AZ to Plano, TX. Now in 2005, he flew from TN to TX to drive the Uhaul truck to TN for me, while I drove my car accompanied by my 2 crazy felines.

It was Saturday morning and as is Texas, it was a scorching HOT Summer day. After watching big burly guys loading up the truck, we were finally ready to hit the road. It's about a 12 hour drive from TX to the part of TN I was headed for and so we knew we'd be staying one night on the road due to the Uhaul moving only slightly faster than a snails pace. After driving the majority of the day, we called it quits and stopped at our hotel. We unloaded the crazy felines, grabbed some dinner and relaxed. Thank goodness for an uneventful day. Little did we know what was ahead...

Sunday morning, we are up early and back on the road. We absolutely had to arrive to my new apartment today as I already had movers scheduled to unload as well as the cable/internet guy coming on Monday morning...priorities, you know!! So at this point we are on I-40 which is probably the straightest and most BORING highway ever, not to mention the most heavily driven by those lovely semi tractor trailers. At this point in the commute my dad was driving in front of me when all of a sudden I begin to notice some strange liquid substance splashing on my windshield. As I try to clean my windshield, it is not coming off very well and it is streaking -my first clue that it wasn't water or rain- oh great...any other liquid CANNOT be a good sign. I see a Rest Area coming up and flash my lights to my dad to signal that I need to stop there, although I really didn't, but he had no idea that the Uhaul was spewing something all over my car.

Now, let me preface this by saying that my dad is pretty much clueless when it comes to vehicles or any sort of auto repair. So we sort of look at the truck, it's no longer leaking now that we stopped, so we decide we should try to get to a gas station that may have a garage there in hopes that it could be repaired and we'd be on our way. So we drive a few miles up the road to the next "big" town and stop at a gas station to call Uhaul. Let me remind you it was Sunday. Let me also say that if you are driving a Uhaul you really and truly believe that Uhaul should have 24 hour maintenance repair. They don't! At least they didn't in 2005!!! To make a long story short, no one could come repair the truck on Sunday, so we were forced to stay ANOTHER night on the road. Did I mention that we were only 2 hours from our destination when all of this happened?!?! I made countless phone calls to make the necessary changes, i.e. movers, cable guy, my mom etc. On the bright side, we treated ourselves to dinner at Red Lobster and guess who picked up the tab albeit a month or so later?

Monday morning - Uhaul finally comes and fixes the truck and we are on our way. I'm not sure how long they took, but I'm certain it wasn't fast enough for my liking. We finally arrived at our destination and were able to unload and return the truck. I had a great conversation with the unfortunate very nice Uhaul manager. In the end, I got alot of my money back and they paid for the hotel and our dinner at Red Lobster. Would I have rather arrived a day sooner than have dealt with all of this?? Of course, but then I wouldn't have this great Uhaul moving disaster story for you.

And I will save you from the part where we unloaded all my stuff into what was a very NON-RENTABLE second floor apartment (with a sinking bathtub) only to load it back up again and move 1.5 miles away to a much nicer apartment complex.

Let's See How Tomorrow Goes

Its 4:44 am West Coast time and I have been up since 6am Central time which means I have been up for a full 24 hours. What happens at this point in time folks?

You guessed it, level of functioning goes WAY down. Fast. Exponentially even.

Guess what I pull out?

Yes, bullet points.

• dropped furkids of at day care
• made it to airport for check in only to be told by American Airlines the flight was delayed by more than an hour
• watched my bestie make three trips around the airport with a UHaul before she could pick me up
• squeezed into the Subaru Forester with three kids in THREE car seats, a 160 pound Mastiff, a cat, a African Grey, 2 fish, C, myself and a Uhaul trailer
  
• I gave her belated birthday gifts and drove while she opened them
• we intended to get from Seattle to Spokane by 10:30 and get to bed so we could get up early to drive
• instead while I was driving, there was a sudden problem with car in which it felt like a metal object flew off from underneath then the engine seemed to seize and we lost power as I coasted to the side of the road with the trailer with the dash lit up like a Christmas Tree
  
• we narrowly avoided a 18 car pile up with a semi trailer by having lost power
• then we sat on the side of the road shaking in disbelief while we waited for AAA for more than 2 hours, realizing how close we had come to being part of that 18 car pile up, kids crying non-stop (for good reason, it was way past their bedtime)
  
• finally the tow truck showed and I made a hypocrite of myself by riding holding small children with none of us wearing seatbelts (3 adults, 3 kids, you do the math)
• the night/morning ended with this:

Yes, that's right, she's putting the bird to bed in a dresser drawer. I would think I'm hallucinating, but I have photo proof.