Sometimes Dreams Really Do Come True

***Before you read any further, I know I have had quite a few lurkers in the past weeks and months and not the friendly kind (St Augustine, FL, I'm looking at you). Please keep in mind that the internet is analogous to television, if you don't like one channel, there are hundreds of others to watch.


Do you ever have a dream, a wish or a hope for so long you wonder if it will ever come true? Maybe it seems so far fetched, like trying to nail Jell-O to the ceiling or just beyond the grasp of anyone’s reach that it can’t possibly ever happen. Yet you continue to believe, even if it’s just that tiny little bit inside you that refuses to give up. You don’t always acknowledge this part of yourself, yet you know it’s still there.

I’ve had a secret of sorts. For 33 years I have carried this secret. I was never supposed to talk about it growing up, unless it was a prearranged conversation, behind closed doors and only with my Mother. The criteria of even speaking about this subject made me feel there was something intrinsically wrong with me, something so horrible we mustn’t let anyone know for fear of being shunned by the community. What is this huge secret you ask?

I am adopted by my Father.

He was always a good provider, made sure we had what we needed, but emotionally cold and unable to express emotion. Growing up it seemed like he was allergic to emotional connection. There were very few hugs, hardly one or two “I love yous” and certainly not any bonding. I came to realize the opposite of love is indifference.

For years I have longed to know my real Dad. My biological Dad. The one I always secretly thought about on Fathers Day. The one I was just so sure, no matter what my Mother said, couldn’t possibly be like the man sitting in the living room, barely speaking. If he ever did speak, it was glacially slow and he would often stop in the middle as if he had forgotten he had ever been speaking in the first place.

Last night, that dream of a lifetime came true. A week previous, on Father’s Day in fact, I did some serious online searching and found the one I was 90% sure was him. I sent a very simple email, that if he was the one, please respond to _______ email address. If he was the one and wanted to not hear from me, that was ok, just let me know, and I would be silent and not bother him again.

Having recently come home from the hospital, I had fallen asleep on the couch around 7pm and when I woke there was the flashing light on the Blackberry. Bleary eyed, I looked at the messages and one was from him.

I was so nervous as I clicked it open, all the possibilities running through my head at once. What if it wasn’t the right person? What if it WAS the right person, but he wanted nothing to do with me? Scariest of all, what if it was the right person and he wanted to talk, to really get to know me and welcomed me back into his life?

This last option is, of course, what I wanted most, but also caused the most terror in me. What would I say? What might he say? How does one bridge a gap of 33 years in one conversation?

As I clicked it open I found a very simple message with a subject line of “Answered Prayers” and the body of the email a simple sentence that shook me to my core:

“My precious child I have waited for a lifetime for this day please call______.”

Mustering my moxie, I nervously dialed the phone and it was like instant word salad. We both had words tumbling about; there were tears and laughter. We both tried to catch each other up as quickly as possible, one story triggering the next. It was late and we agreed to talk again in a few days. I don’t know where it will go from here, but even to have talked on the phone that one time means the world to me. It means I am loved.

Needless to say, my heart, head and spirit were overwhelmed with joy as the dream of a lifetime finally came true.

(photo credit to Dry Icons)


***New Post at The Aisle Files about self check out, your thoughts?

Overheard

Recently I was out and overheard this little gem.

Son: So Dad, there's something I wanted to talk about again.

Father: Son, if you join the Marine Corp, I'll kill you before they can get you.

Obviously this has come up several times between the two of them. I think everyone should be free to do what they want to do with their life (as long as it's legal). This Father obviously feels to the contrary.


***New post at The Aisle Files
***Any takers on the books that are left?

Some Days I Wish...

What do you wish some days?

Some days I wish I could put parts of my life in here and start over.
Some days I wish for rain to get a break from the relentless sun here in Texas.

Some days I wish I was living in the perfect city. I just don't know where that city is right now.

Some days I wish I could play better on the piano.

Some days I wish the car would automatically fill itself with gas.

Some days I wish I could get my youngest dog to sleep past 6am. But how do you resist this face?What do you wish some days?


***New post at The Aisle Files and still begging requesting submissions for the next week and first part of July.

Hair Hair Hair

With BlogHer coming up in a month (you are going aren't you?), I decided it was time to try a new haircut. I had very good intentions of letting it grow out long, but once we started hitting a heat index of 106 degrees, those plans went out the window.

Remember the Sip-N-Swap I went to last week? They had gift certificates to the salon that was hosting the event, Frinj. (Hey self, we like free, right? Yup, sure do!) So I scheduled an appointment and appeared, armed with 4 magazines and about a million pictures marked. Jen was so patient and professional and created this masterpiece that I will likely never be able to recreate on my own. (Jen, you are coming over every morning, right?)

So tell me, blog worthy?
From the front:

From the back:


Better shot of the front:

Thoughts? Comments? Who's going to BlogHer?

Take It Away Tuesday

Guess what? I’m making my load a little light and giving away a stack of books. Each book is linked to Amazon for details.

You know the deal, first one to claim it, gets it.

Ready? GO!
Deception Point by Dan Brown goes to Ashleigh

Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo (this is ideally suited to a younger reader9-11 range)

I am not myself these days. By Josh Kilmer Purcell

Quarterlife Crisis by Robbins and Wilner (great for anyone struggling with what they should do with their life) goes to Bobbi Janay

The Soft Addiction Solution by Judith Wright goes to Ashley

These last two were passed on to me by Noodle and we have decided they should be passed on to other bloggers once finished reading. Also write your name and blog address on the inside front cover so we can see how far they go.

I Was Amelia Earhart by Jane Meddelsohn

Frankly Scarlett, I Do Give A Damn! West and Penske goes to Mandy

So tell me which one you want and be sure I have your email address. If you are not comfortable leaving it in the comments, email me at VanesssaRambles@gmail.com

***New post up at The Aisle Files

Monday Moodiness

This weekend was hard in a million different ways. Everything from super muscley (that's a word, right?) clients to just not feeling well, stomach bug or something. You try giving a one hour massage when you really need to run to the bathroom. Yeah, like that.

Instead, I shall entertain you with pictures I found all in one parking lot.

Remember the Smurfs? Apparently this one is being punished:
Keep in mind my entire experience of "off-roading" consists of driving up on the curb by accident. (Look next to the toll tag.) Its like a super big bullet hole. (love how I'm so grown up in my phrasing?) Is it possible for this to happen "off-roading?" A rock maybe?
(In my best cowboy/rancher voice) We do everything bigger here in Texas, including most importantly, our trucks. Notice that the "Ford" logo (?) (What is that called anyway? badge? emblem?) has been replaced with one that says "Peterbuilt."
Yes trucks like this are the norm driving around on city streets here and don't even get me started with the women who decided Suburbans weren't big enough and now have Hummers. (sorry to any Hummer or Suburban owners. Still friends?)

***new posts are up at The Aisle Files (thanks Jenny) and Make a Move

Also, I'm driving cross country (from Seattle to Pennsylvania) in a few weeks with my bestie, her three kids (under age 5) a mastiff, a cat, and parrot that loves to talk, towing a UHaul. It's doubtful that I won't get any material from this (or possibly a headache), but I'm looking for guest posters for Random Ramblings and submissions for The Aisle Files (written stories or just a picture) . Thanks to anyone who can help, especially with Aisle Files.

Foot Talk Friday

Ladies, its flip flop season around here and we need to pamper out feet a little before we step out in sandals.

I gave into the trend and got some of these:
I have to say, start slow, but they really do stretch out the muscles of your feet. The package boasts they can prevent plantar fasciitis. I don't know that I'd go that far, but they have stretched my feet quite a bit. (Isn't the left over purple tinge from my broken ankle just wonderful? Yeah, I thought you'd agree.)

Another clever use for these? Paint your toes after you put them on, toes stay separated, plenty of time for the polish to dry. Perfect, yes?

My very good friend Lori recently took a trip to Japan and brought me these fantastic socks. (She taught me everything I know about Swedish massage and I can only hope to be the rock star massage therapist like she is one day.)

Know what's so great about them? I wear flip flops almost all year long regardless of the temperature outside. Because of Lori, I now have socks to wear that will accommodate my flip flop wearing self. (No, I never refer to them as "dress flops.") (She probably got tired of hearing me complain about my feet being cold when it was 40 degrees and I was wearing flip flops.)

Cool side view:
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Lori! You have no idea how much I love these socks and I love you just for being you. You. Are. Awesome.

Ten Points To Who Can Tell Me What Happened

OR alternately titled, "Just When The Insurance Claims Adjuster Thought They Had Seen It All."

The entire door is lifted about three inches above the roof. The bottom frame of the car isn't damaged (visibly). You can see through the bottom of the door to see the carpet inside, the speaker and even the door handle. The rest of the car shows no damage. Any guesses?



***New post at The Aisle Files

Sip-N-Swap

Last night in Plano (just north of Dallas) there was an awesome event hosted by Trendy Mommy at Frinj Salon.

It's called the Sip-N-Swap which amounts to a party to sip, snack, socialize and exchange clothes.The cost was $20 to get in and you took home whatever clothes you wanted. Plus at the end we all got an amazing swag bag.

See? Bumble and Bumble, i.d. Bare Escentuals lip gloss and all over face color, SkinCeuticals masque and hydrating B5 Gel, $15 gift certificate to the salon, plus other samples from Get Fresh, Difiaba and Redkin. (I'll be in the bathroom trying out all this stuff if anyone needs me.)
Fun Free Clothes from the exchange:

This dress looks even more amazing on:


This dress has a special story. I used to own this exact dress and while living in Seattle my car was crushed by a utility pole that fell on my car when someone backed into the pole. It was too full of glass to keep and had to be thrown away. Obviously we were meant to find each other again! (again, more adorable being worn)The staple of my wardrobe, the black top. Love the detail of the one on the left.


Increasing the fun factor, I was able to see many of the bloggers I met on Saturday's pre-BlogHer meetup. Jes, Colleen, Jenny, Bobbi, and Kerri who is in the process of starting her blog. I also saw Jen and her sister Kristen, who are the founding sisters of Sip-N-Swap.

The clothes not chosen were all donated to The Family Place, a local emergency shelter dedicated to helping those suffering from family violence.

Universe, I asked for "prosperity now" and if it keeps coming in the form of free clothes, just know you are making me a very happy girl!

Your Thoughts On Parenting?

There are many kids that live in my apartment community. Most are well behaved and others, well, they could try harder in the "well behaved department."

Picture if you will:

Me sitting at the computer (big surprise, I know) and suddenly glass crashing over and over outside. I go out on the balcony to see middle age kids (maybe 6-8) years old throwing glass bottles on the ground.

I put on shoes and head downstairs.

Me (very nonchalantly): "Hey guys, what's going on down here?"

Kids: "mumble mumble, uh, nothing"

Me: "So why am I hearing glass breaking in the parking lot?"

Two kids run inside (A few weeks ago I called them on taking turns riding up and down the garage door while the other pushed the button.)

I now have two kids in front of me.

The older of the two says "uh, we didn't mean to do something wrong."

Me: "Well throwing and breaking glass is wrong. Someone could get hurt, especially since you are not wearing shoes. There are several dogs that walk through this area to get to the doggie spot. You could even damage someone's car tire."

Kids: (crickets)

Me: "I think you should clean this up right now before anyone gets hurt."

Younger kid (lip quivering): "I did it and I'm really sorry. I don't have a broom to clean this up though."

Me: "That's ok, you can use mine and I'll supervise help you."

I return with the broom and everything gets cleaned up. He apologizes several more times. I tell him we need to be more careful because throwing glass can really hurt someone. He apologizes again and I tell him, "It's ok because we got everything cleaned up quickly. Don't ever do this again though."

His lip is still quivering and he goes inside.

I never yelled at the kids or even raised my voice. I just pointed out this was dangerous, it needed to stop and get cleaned up immediately.

So what do you think about parenting/reprimanding/scolding children that are not your own?

(Right thing to do? Wrong? Depends on the situation? Other thoughts?)


***new post at Aisle Files

Do You Use Protection?

My PSA of the week: Be prepared when lightening strikes.

What I mean by this is have surge protectors even in places you don't think you need them, like phone lines. Most remember the post from last week with thousands of lightening strikes and a tornado.

What I didn't tell you was I had a power surge from my phone line and it took out my DSL router. It was immediately replaced and everything turned out ok, but had I not unplugged my computer, printer, etc. it could have turned nasty, fast.

Something I didn't know is just because you are plugging a surge protector into an outlet with three holes, that doesn't necessarily mean its grounded. A surge protector needs a ground to properly work; if it isn't actually grounded it can start a fire. If you have any doubt about your third hole being grounded, call an electrician and there is a quick continuity test they can do to let you know for sure.

Another option is to purchase surge protectors (like I did too late) that have a light that will illuminate if there is no ground.

(Notice the lights at the tops where it says "Belkin" one says protected and one says not grounded. Obviously we want the one that says "protected" to be illuminated. The gray one also protects cable, TV or DVR. The white one has openings for phone lines in and out to protect computer modems.)

Don't be lucky like me, be protected.

/PSA

**new post at Aisle Files

The one in which I send you away....

But trust me, you'll thank me for it. I found this at DaysGoBy and it is one of the funniest commercials I have seen in a VERY long time. Go ahead, click through, you can thank me later. Its hysterical and makes me wish I was there. Need I say more? You'll love it!

Hysterical commercial! Click here!

I Pulled Three

I have a deck of Doreen Virtue, Ph.D Angel cards and yesterday, for no explainable reason, felt drawn to choose three, representing past, present and future.


First card:
Maya: “Schooling , study and education help your life’s purpose and personal growth at this time. The angels will guide you and help you with this process.”
(this rings true since I have been in school since August)

Second card:
Isabella: “Yes, the timing is right for this new venture. A happy outcome follows your positive expectations.”
(I am unsure what this refers to and when I asked, came up blank)

Third card:
Serena: “I am the Angel of Abundance. You will receive the money that you need, and God is in charge of how that will happen. Have faith.”
(I know exactly what this refers to and am so happy)

***New Post at Aisle Files

Tornado Or A Few?

If you follow me on Twitter (and if not, why?) you saw night we had several tornadoes in the Dallas area, one (or two depending on the news station) within blocks of where I live. There were also close to 7,000 lightening strikes. (yeah, I know!)

Some remember last year when my neighborhood was hit by tornadoes, this is a different neighborhood I live in now, more damage. I did not photograph anyone who lost their roof or outside wall to protect their privacy.

This first one was just outside my front door:


A few streets over, this group of trees was ripped off at the same level:
Same street, as you can see, this was an older tree:


A good reminder to NEVER EVER touch an electrical line, no matter what:

Can you find the car in this one? I'll give you a hint, it's white and smashed:


Tree on the roof and front door:

This was a very large tree, owned by Jim who was a delightful man and offered me a free car wash. The tree took down his fence and covered more than half the road:Another large, old tree, taken down at the base. It was also covering car on the other side:



Again, tree on house:
Not passable, too much damage:
Several instances of blown patio furniture:

Poor tree:

This one was struck at the base by lightening and split in all directions:
I am so grateful to live a few streets over and not have suffered damage this severe. I had the eave blown off a corner of my apartment, but otherwise the puppies, hamster, fish (as well as myself) all came through just fine. The storms are starting again, so I have to power this down.

Reasons I Think I have a Ghost in My Home

• I have a specific pair of flip-flops kept by the patio door. They were missing, but found here, neatly side by side where you can see there is no organization. (No this is not a reflection of the rest of my home) (I believe that by bringing shoes into the house or upstairs in this case, you are bringing the energy from the outside world into your home. I like my home to be a peaceful, calm space.) (To those of you wondering, no this is not how I broke my ankle.)
  

• There is a clicking noise coming from the bedroom. Every single time I get near to investigate, it stops. This happens with the window open or closed. Ceiling fan on or off.

• I was looking for a certain bracelet that was not where I leave my jewelry. I looked everywhere, kitchen drawers, under the bed, behind the dresser. I found it the next morning on my nightstand on top of my blackberry.

• My new MacBook with only one other program (Firefox) running has crashed Word three times while I’ve tried to write this.

• The same drawer on my dresser is left half open. I am fanatical about closing cabinets, drawers, etc for feng shui reasons. I will find this drawer open even after I just closed it and left the room.

• Yes, I have smudged the entire place with sage starting at the lowest point in the east and working to the highest point in the west. Twice.
  

So you tell me, do you believe in ghosts? Wouldn't you say I have several indicators that point to positive? What's your take on this situation?


***Don't forget to check out The Aisle Files.

Oh Hi! I'm Your Crazy Neighbor!

Some remember Friday night on Twitter when I couldn't decide if it was too early to put on pajamas. I had enough "go for it" type responses, but I opted for my bathrobe instead.

I also decided that since Morgan didn't do her biz earlier (big surprise, I know) I should take her out because she was doing that thing she does when she has to go biz. (planning at it's finest, I know)

I estimated this event to take under two minutes, therefore the cost vs. benefit ratio of getting dressed (you know, in actual pants and stuff) was skewed to my favor of remaining in the bathrobe.

By the way, my bathrobe is red. It cannot be missed. This will be relevant in a moment.

I take Morgan out and refuse to go any further than 3 feet (I'm still not sure which algorithm I used to determine this was the acceptable distance from the front door).

I hear voices.

I urge Morgan to "hurry up and do BIZ!"

She refuses and it is at this precise moment that my new neighbors come around the corner and we meet. They were moving a couch into their new apartment.

I stood there and said nothing except "Uh, Hi!" (brilliance at it's best folks)

I have no real justification for this behavior other than I really am the crazy lady in a bathrobe who has dogs and not cats.


***If you just can't get enough of the funny, check out The Aisle Files today.

Health Care Horrors

So I woke up today feeling relatively sparkly. Had my coffee; fed and watered each animal, you know, normal morning stuff.

After a quick shower I realized I wasn’t feeling quite as sparkly.

No worries I told myself, moods can shift throughout the day, right?

So in a blinding flash of brilliance (this is known as foreshadowing), I decided I’m going to be productive by calling the health insurance company (who shall remain nameless, because let’s face it, they know where I live) and try to get a few claims resubmitted, adjusted and in general sorted out.

(I know! I’m in the future too!)

My mood went from sparkly to sobbing in a matter of an hour. They are claiming I had a surgery (which I didn’t) and owed the health insurance company directly since I had not met my yearly deductible (aren’t those fun?) and THEY would be the ones to disperse this money to the hospital.

They wanted $7000.

(I’ll pause while that sinks in)

Yes, $7,000 for a surgery I never had.

After much arguing, faxing (who uses a fax anymore anyway?) (I know Sizzle, just you and its not by your choice) and general frustration I called the ER of the hospital directly and was told what my “real” bill was and that by this point in time, I had actually overpaid and would be getting a refund roughly equivalent to a car payment.

I felt better, but not nearly as sparkly.

My words of wisdom to you are if you want to continue to have a pleasant day, DO NOT call your health insurance company.

Anyone else care to share a horror story?

***For something a little lighter, there's a few new posts/pictures up at The Aisle Files.

When Opportunity Knocks (With Pictures)

I had a different post planned for today, but it was ranty and crabby and I'll leave that for a Monday. Seems more appropriate that way, no? Instead, I have to tell you about last night and the most amazing opportunity that fell into my lap.

You know how as bloggers we get approached to do product reviews from time to time? Most of the time I say no because its something I don't like, wouldn't ever use in my daily life or clearly it's a mass mailing, like the time I was asked to review a car seat for babies, because, you know, I have one of those. (heavy on the sarcasm)

Last night when I met with the astute Justine from Brand About Town, let me just say, I was impressed. She clearly knew what was going on in the blogging world and what questions to ask. The promotion she is working on is with Gap. We sat at the bar chatting like we were friends instead of some other meetings where they try to steam-roll over you trying to get you to evangelize their product. That approach always gets a "NO" response from me.

At the end of our chatting, she said lets walk down to Gap. I said' "sure!" Being that we were at the Galleria mall, it wasn't far. As we get there she stops and says, "You can go in and spend up to (certain dollar figure)."

"Really?" I asked, astonished.

She assured me that yes, really, just go in and find what I liked.

Want to know what I found?

THE MOST AMAZING JEANS EVER!!!

I have a very difficult body type to fit because I am:

A) short
B) weird hips/waist
C) picky (ok, that one isn't so much my body, but more of my personality)

These jeans fit me so perfectly, my screams of joy could be heard as far away as Seattle.

There was no bunching of fabric at the back. They are the perfect mid-rise and the perfect length. The fabric is wonderfully soft and they already have that "broken in" feel that jeans get as they relax onto your body with a few wearings.

Do you realize what a miracle this is for me? I don't know what's going on with the sun, moon and stars, but I hope it stays that way for a while.

I also found a few cute V-neck shirts, shorts and a cardigan, because while I live in Texas where it is boiling lava hot, every establishment feels the need to stay near sub zero temperatures where hanging meat would be more appropriate than actually shopping, eating or seeing a movie.

Picture time!
The most amazing jeans ever:


Cute outfit for summer:


The cardigan:



This is by far the best thing that's happened in my week. Tell me the best thing that happened to you this week? Or as always, whatever you want to tell me (within reason of course!).

I Have A Bad Feeling About This

This morning as I was making the elixir of the Gods, that which before I have had any, speaking is not advised (yeah, I'm one of "those" people), I noticed the instructions on the top of my creamer* bottle.

(Why I had never noticed before, I have no idea. Perhaps because this whole process takes place in a fog of murkiness?)

"Remove seal"

Then in smaller print:

"Shake well"

Won't this end badly if you follow these instructions in the suggested order?

How do you take your coffee? Or are you a tea drinker?

*there is only one acceptable creamer for my morning joe, Nestle Coffee-Mate Sugar Free Hazelnut

So Far Today... (or The Universe Hates Me)

• I was woken at 3am by the sounds every animal lover dreads: HRRRRRCHHTT then massive spewage. This little episode repeated 7 times.
• Found out the regular vet is closed on Wednesdays and has been for years. (How I didn't know this by now is beyond me.)
• Was referred to a vet that no GPS could have found
• Had my picture taken by the "Running the Red Light" camera
  
• Realized I had forgotten to brush my teeth when the vet handed me a piece of gum (this vet, while hard to find, was amazingly wonderful)
  
• Spent a large amount of money to find out Morgan doesn't have a bowel obstruction from eating nearly half a roll of toilet paper yesterday and pancreatitis while not ruled out, is not so likely at this point. We were sent home with anti-vomit pills which better work because at this point, if there is more spewage, I'm putting in hardwood floors. (Yes, I know I only rent here.)
  
• Had a bird fly straight into my windshield, scaring the SH*T out of me. I swerved and ran over a curb ruining my alignment and ripping off part of the bumper fascia of my brand new car. (Am hoping that is cheaper to fix than the vet bill.)
  
• Found out my carpet steam cleaner no longer works
  
• Realized I am out of garbage bags

I believe that about covers it and it's only lunchtime. So.......tell me about your day?

So, Do You Think I'll Make A Good Pole Dancer?

I'm not so sure, but I'm certainly willing to give it a try, because really, who wouldn't want to have that among their set of skills?

A new gym (?) opened near my home called The Girls Room and they offer pole dancing classes for $25 per class. I think that's a little steep per class, but I'm willing to give it a try once my ankle is nice and strong again. The girls look pretty toned and the instructor told me it really strengthens your core.

The flyer announces it as the "all in one workout" for cardio and strength training and promises results in six workouts. I'm not sure about you, but 6 workouts sounds pretty good to me.

What do you think? Would you try a pole dancing class?


***new post up at The Aisle Files

WTF Is All This?

This is what I woke up to this morning. I know its trash day.

We have trash day THREE times a week.

We also have a dumpster.

All of this came from one apartment. That is an ironing board, satellite dish, baby bouncer and NINE bags of trash. I don't even want to see the inside of the apartment to know how much of a fire hazard I'm living near. Can anyone say Collyer brothers?

***Also, don't forget to check out the new blog, The Aisle Files.